Posted: 01/01/2013 Filed under: Awesome Things, LGBTQ | Tags: announcements, humor, links
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 6,300 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 11 years to get that many views.
Click here to see the complete report.
Posted: 12/28/2012 Filed under: Behavior, Dating, Girls, LGBTQ, Sex | Tags: advice, behavior, boys, dating, friendzone, humor, links, sex
I got another email question! I’m totally not sure if it’s a troll email or not, but here it is, and here’s my answers.
Q: Okay so I’ve been great friends with this girl and she considers me as her best friend..
I fear if I’ve been friendzoned already for I have feelings for her..
She cares a lot about me..
I do care a lot about her..
The thing is I fear if I ask her out, it might spoil our friendship.
So please I need your help..
What to do?
First thing you do, emailer friend, is to never use the verb “friendzone” ever, EVER again. Everything about that term implies that the only goal of being in any sort of relationship (including a friendship) with a woman is sex, and that makes you kind of a douche
The second thing you do is go back and read this
. I think it will help.
The third thing you need to do is make a list, and on one side put all the great parts about being friends with this lady. Do you do fun things together? Can you talk about a ton of stuff? Great! Now, what’s the only thing you’re standing to gain from turning this friendship into something else? If the only thing you can come up with is “sex”, then you need to decide if trying to get sex from this friend of yours is worth the potential spoiling of your friendship. You also have to brace yourself for the mad amounts of awkward if that goes awry.
Please, don’t consider the only goal of being friends with a girl to eventually end up boning her. That’s horrible and isn’t worth anyone’s time. For real though, you don’t want to end up like that guy. If you have genuine feelings for her you should tell her, but if all you think you want is the sex, don’t do it.
Posted: 10/13/2012 Filed under: Behavior, Dating, Girl Talk, Girls, LGBTQ, Sex | Tags: adventures, advice, announcements, behavior, boys, dating, girl talk, girls, humor, lesbians, links, rants, sex
Do any of you have something that really just grinds your gears and gets you every time? I happen to have a lot of them, and if I were to list them all it would require more time and dedication than I could ever hope to expect from any of you. Consider this an act of mercy that I’m only focusing on one moderately upsetting thing for today.
I had this particular thing in mind for today, because it happened to me last night. Sometimes being gay can really stink, and a lot of those times happen when you’re interacting with other (mostly heterosexual) people. One of those interactions I despise is when someone decides it’s a good idea to ask The Question. You’ve probably encountered it, either in a movie, with friends, hell – maybe you’ve even asked it yourself. The Question is, for me, as follows: “What do 2 girls, like, DO, y’know… In bed?”
It’s almost always followed by lots of nervous giggling on the part of the asker.
There are a couple of responses that I use for this question, and the one I pick depends upon how well I know the person asking me, and how much I want them to not hate me.
In this case, I was at a bar, so I was able to be all, “I haven’t had enough tequila for this talk”, and that seemed to work pretty well. (Other fun responses are things like, “Let’s go find out” and “Please shut your face”, but my favorite is, “Well that depends. Are we sleeping or fucking?”)
I’m not a particularly private person. I’m loud, kind of annoying, and really obnoxious. I’m outspoken about a great deal of things. And yet, this one single question leaves me feeling utterly flabbergasted. I really think this is a prime example of straight privilege, because nobody asks a straight couple what THEY do in bed, right? Because everyone knows. But apparently asking gay folks is not only a) super appropriate and acceptable but 2) going to give you an answer to apply to every gay person ever (because we’re all the same, duh!)
I was told that I handled the question like a champ, but I’m still really riled about it. I also told the particular asker to check things out on the internet. It’s a wonderful place and there are TONS and TONS and TONS (etc. etc. ad nauseum) of resources on how two ladies might get it on. Betcha you’ll never guess what happened next.
“I FEEL DIRTY DOING THAT.”
But you feel perfectly alright asking someone you don’t know very well TO THEIR FACE about their sex life?
It would be completely different if this person were asking me about things to do to make one’s sex life more interesting. I personally feel I have a lot of really brilliant sexytime ideas, and since I’m obnoxiously outspoken, I find very little shame in sharing them. This, however, was a whole ‘nother scenario.
The moral of the story this week is pretty simple: don’t be an ass. I don’t care if you’re drunk, I don’t care if you once asked a gay person in a pride parade and they answered. I’m a different human being, and you should fucking respect that.
We’ll be back for regularly scheduled shenanigans later on.
Posted: 07/15/2012 Filed under: Awesome Things, Behavior, Girl Talk, Girls, LGBTQ | Tags: adventures, advice, behavior, dating, facebook, girl talk, girls, humor, jobs, lesbians, links, love, rants, sex
Okay I’m sorry, I didn’t fall off the planet, I’ve just been shirking my duty as your faithful advice blogger for… Well for long enough to risk falling off the planet, I suppose. I haven’t really done much, apart from the usual going to the gym, going to work, and eating food routine that most people seem to have. So exciting.
One thing I have done is finish reading a book. An advice book, no less – something I normally avoid like a cat avoids water.
I’m not usually one for self-help books. I tend to find the advice therein trite, condescending, and in some cases enabling of the behaviors the person reading needs help with. Of course, when my mom handed me this book I went, “Yeah, sure, I’ll read this. Eventually.” Because my mother likes to hand out advice, wanted, warranted, or not, I really just rolled my eyes. And then my girlfriend read the book first. And then something ridiculous happened – she told me it was good. Not just good, but something that I should be reading.
Thus, I just finished reading, The Defining Decade by Dr. Meg Jay, PhD. The book is broken down into a few sections, on love, work, and being a grown-up. Really, the whole book centers on acting like an adult now instead of later, and getting your act together before you’re 30. There are a lot of examples that Dr. Jay uses to describe exactly what she’s getting at, whether it’s the twentysomething boy who was essentially homeless because he grew up in an unsettled divorced parenting situation, or the young Korean American woman who had grown up being teased for being different and a virgin in high school, so she never stopped to consider the sort of qualities she actually wanted in a partner – she just wanted to be wanted.
I wish I couldn’t identify so well with each of the people in this book. I’m way overeducated for my current job. I know this, and I know what I want to be doing, I just don’t know if I can actually put in the work to get there. I just keep assuming that everything will fall into place, because that’s what I’ve been taught to expect. I’ve also been hearing, “You’re young, this is what you’re supposed to do” an awful lot, too.
I think, contrary to popular belief, “YOLO” (you only live once) is part of this problem that leaves folks screwed over in their thirties. The twenties are apparently to be spent partying, traveling, working as a barista at Starbucks, and generally not giving a shit about the future because you’ll think about it “when you’re thirty” or “way later”…. Draw a timeline of how you want your life to go. If you have a picture like that, and “babies” and something like “medical school” are in the same place… You might have to reconsider what you’re doing.
What resonated most with me, for a silly reason, was the entire section on love. Every time my girlfriend and I have had problems of any sort, I have been advised by at least one person to break up with her and find someone else. I’m always told that I will have plenty of time to find my perfect someone, because my girlfriend and I are “so young” (I’m almost 24, for the record). I think getting together at a pretty young age, relatively speaking, is seen as a thing of the past. I have a friend who just got married, and she’s a couple years younger than I am. Do I think that’s too young? Maybe. I don’t know.
The point I’m trying (and failing) to make is that I feel really lucky in love. I don’t think I care if my perfect soul mate life partner match from heaven is out there in the world somewhere. There are another 7 billion people on this planet, of course. But, at this point, I think instead of stressing over whether or not my girlfriend and I are completely 100% totally perfect, I am going to focus on all the great things about being with her. At least in this respect, I feel like I have my shit together.
I wish I had an idea of what I want to be when I grow up. I wish I knew what I wanted to DO with my life. I want to do a million things, and I’m so afraid of all the possibilities that I don’t know where to start, and so I’m just paralyzed by all of them.
This paragraph I just wrote isn’t in the book, but there are a bunch like it. It makes me feel less bad, being as concerned as I am about my career future, because Facebook and the media seem to keep telling me that I should be gallivanting around Europe half-naked and fucking my way through hostels or something to that effect. Those same institutions tell me that I should drink more and do stupid shit because, after all, “you only live once”.
While that’s all probably a good time, I will take my amazing girlfriend, our tiny apartment, and a half-cooked plan for the rest of my life over drinks in an English pub any day. I may not know where I want to go, but I know who I want to get there with, and I really think that’s a big step in the right direction.
I’m not advocating for or against settling down at an earlier age, and I’m not even knocking working for Starbucks. All I’m saying is that this book is pretty great, I recommend it, and I think we could all stand to get the ball rolling on the rest of our lives a little faster than age 30.
A little ambition never killed anyone.
Posted: 06/12/2012 Filed under: Awesome Things, Girls, LGBTQ | Tags: adventures, attractive ladies, girls, humor, lesbians, links, lists, love, superheroines
I know you were all waiting for this. This is probably the nerdiest thing I’ve ever written, except for that time I wrote some fan fiction for Gundam Wing.
And even if you weren’t, that’s okay. Whoever follows me on tumblr (ahem ahem shameless plug) will have noticed a pick-up in the superheroine-type things I’ve been reblogging. It happens. It started with me wanting to learn
more everything about Wonder Woman and went on from there, so without too much ado, I present in no particular order, some really amazing super- and meta-human ladies!
I can’t be the only one who sees it
Did you guys know Catwoman had a sort-of sidekick? Who was gay? Because I didn’t until I started looking into these things. Holly manages to stab Batman in the leg and then end up at a convent. At some point she comes back, takes over being Catwoman while Selina is on maternity leave, dies, but not really, and she’s Selina Kyle‘s BFF/roommate/probably girlfriend sometimes. At least, that’s what happened In My Head.
Sailor Neptune/Sailor Uranus
Image by AmayaKouryuu at deviantart
I have to include these ladies as a pair, because they’re a couple. I don’t really care what the English dub of “Sailor Moon” that you watched on Toonami said, they’re not cousins. Cousins don’t have pot points like Sailor Uranus (Haruka) kissing Sailor Moon, or dressing up as Tuxedo Mask, or, y’know, sexin’ up Sailor Neptune (Michiru). I really love the two of them, because Haruka is super flirty and Michiru is quieter and super-polite. They balance each other out so well and I can’t help it, they’re so effin’ cute. Seriously, I’m still not sure how I was so naive to think lady cousins should be so friendly. I know better now, and so do you.
Look at that striped shirt and blazer. Hot!
So Renee Montoya
is was a cop, which is pretty sexy and superhumanly in and of itself. HOWEVER, she’s also The Question! AND Batwoman‘s girlfriend, for a hot minute! Can I sum it up decently by saying she’s a fabulous representation of a person of color (her parents are immigrants from the Dominican Republic)? No. I can’t really sum her up neatly, she’s more complex than that. This lady has some srs bznss in her background and I would need more coffee and at least three blog posts to cover it. She dated Batwoman, has alcohol issues, and kicks the crap out of people. And she wears a tie while doing a lot of these things. Unf.
I think I’m in love
Holy CRAP, this woman. Those biceps. Wikipedia says “Her hidden identity was that of a super strong stripper who worked at a club called the BoomBoom Room”. Does this explain what I’m about to say? Maybe. Knockout is really more of a villain than superheroine, but this is my list so hush. She’s been on the Suicide Squad and the Secret Six, and has died or almost died a couple of times. No, really. It’s canon. I like Knockout because 1, her name is a great pun and 2, she’s like eight feet tall and 3, she was dating the next lady on this list…
Scandal scares me a little bit. Maybe it’s that crazy combat mastery, or her really freaky weapons (seriously, “lamentation blades”?), but it’s probably more that she can re-grow her guts. Her dad’s immortal, so what do you expect? But I do love a lady who’s tough, and she’s fought freaking Talia al Ghul (a sometimes-Batman girlfriend) and lived through being shot and almost blown up and such. I think she’s a big softie, judging from her reaction to her girlfriend Knockout’s death, so… I like her. Is it weird that I find the tough girls attractive?
Kate kissing Not Renee (Detective Maggie Sawyer)
I couldn’t notput her on this list. Kate Kane‘s Batwoman is easily the most recognizable of the women I picked, not to mention the most gay. She gets booted from a military academy for dating another (female) student, and gets it on with attractive lesbian cops a lot. Mostly I love how complicated she is, she’s not just the token gay title character. Seriously, I can’t tell you how big a deal that is. Also she’s a redhead with tattoos, and that’s never a bad thing. If you’re not interested in the storylines of the most recent Batwoman issues, just go for the art.
Look at this, it’s beautiful, now go get it!
I’m pretty sure I’m missing a good deal of lesbionic butt-kickers, because not every superheroine who doesn’t necessarily need a dude to save her or partner up with is queer, so drop me a line on Twitter, or tumblr, or down in the comments and talk to me about your favorite queer superheroines!
Posted: 05/28/2012 Filed under: Awesome Things, Behavior, Dating, LGBTQ, Sex | Tags: adventures, advice, behavior, boys, dating, girls, humor, kinks and fetishes, links, love, sex
Hey! HEY YOU GUYS! So remember that one time I wrote about kinks, and about how some people give crappy advice to people when they come up?
My girlfriend and I went out to eat the other day, and I picked up a copy of The Onion. In the back, they run Dan Savage’s column, Savage Love, and as I was reading this particular issue, I noticed that people seem to 1. have a disturbing love for this book, 50 Shades of Grey, and 2. apparently have no idea how to talk to partners about sex. Savage’s response to one of these women actually made me pretty annoyed, and almost angry.
And then, as if things could not get any more timely, a close friend of mine said that he and his partner were having some issues in the bedroom. I did the, “Well, did you talk about it?” line of questions, and he kept balking, talking about how he did not want to hurt his partner’s feelings, how he didn’t want to cause trouble in the relationship, blah blah et cetera.
Talking about sex is a lot like talking about kinks. The biggest difference is that usually, sex is not quite so shame-ridden as kinks can be. There’s a larger number of people having sex in general, versus however many people might share a kink. With a difference in numbers and with “everybody doing it”, you’d think it would be a hell of a lot easier to talk to one’s partner about sexytimes, right?
Well…. No. It’s not. And it’s not easy because of the reasons my friend brought up. Hurting someone’s feelings probably is going to make you less likely to get sex from them, at least in the immediate future. This isn’t necessarily a fact, but if you make someone feel bad, like, say, where sexual prowess is concerned, it doesn’t seem likely that that person will turn around and go, “Okay well how about we fix that RIGHT NOW?!” (however if you do have a partner like that, you have won at life)
Telling someone they’re not doing sex with you right is really difficult. There isn’t a way to sugarcoat it, but there are a few ways to make it less awful for everyone. You can always go with the direct approach. Being as straightforward as possible and saying, “Look, this is something I have noticed in the bedroom and here is how I want it to change, can we work something out?” leaves practically no room for losing. A similar way of getting your point across is by, in the heat of the moment, saying something like, “Hey, you know what would be hot? If we ___________”, and then you let them know what you want. This works especially well if it’s asking for a tweak in a sexy routine, e.g. who gets to be on top?
Another thing that works pretty well is a nonverbal approach. If it’s a matter of one partner not getting off (and this being a problem), take some more direct control, if you know what I’m saying. Move the other person’s hand to where you want it, and see where things go. If they don’t go the way you want, either try again or talk it out.
Now, these tactics are all contingent on one thing – your partner agreeing with your suggested change. If this does not happen, then a few things need to happen: you have to figure out how important this change is to you, you have to be absolutely certain your partner understands this is an important thing, and/or you have to start reconsidering your relationship with this person.
But wait – why did I bring up Dan Savage? Because his advice sucked. And why did his advice suck? Because, if you go and read the third letter of the link above, he suggested that a 43-year-old housewife use a time machine to solve her problems. I know this has a little more to do with kinks and fetishes, but a lot of Savage’s advice to women seems to be to DTMFA (dump the motherfucker already), especially if they are writing to him about their sex lives.
This is kind of unacceptable. It’s funny that he has no problem talking to some cops about semi-public (male) masturbation, but when a woman wants some advice on bringing her husband into her experiment with BDSM, he dropped the ball. The answer is not to go back in time and not dump the weird kinky guy she may or may not have dated twenty years ago. The answer is to talk it out. Bring up reasons she wants to try it. Say things about how hot BDSM might be, give the husband an out and say, “Let’s just try it a couple of times and see if we like it.”
The one thing I want you all to take away from this is to not be afraid. The absolute worst-case scenario of getting dumped because you want to improve your sex life with that person probably will turn out to not be a worst-case scenario. And who knows? Your partner might even surprise you, agree, or say, “I’m SO glad you brought this up! I was wondering about this!”
Don’t be afraid to talk about sex!!!!
Posted: 05/21/2012 Filed under: Behavior, Dating, Girls, LGBTQ | Tags: advice, behavior, dating, facebook, girls, lesbians, links, rants
Alright, so in case you have been living under a rock lately, you have probably heard that Vice President Joe Biden and President Barack Obama have both publicly voiced support for same-sex marriage. After that, Jay-Z and even the NAACP have endorsed marriage equality.
I bet even he’s heard, though.
After all that has happened and all that is being said, I have some feelings about it. How could I not? It’s a big deal. It’s a massively huge ridiculously big deal, to be more precise. And it effects my life in a very direct way. So if you don’t want to read about my feelings and issues with all that’s going on, I advise you to stop now.
A lot of friends of mine on Facebook posted links to the video of President Obama describing how he came to this new attitude toward gay marriage, explaining this evolution of sorts. Unfortunately while his words were really heartwarming and it was awesome to hear the President of the United States, while in office, say outright that he wants to allow folks like me and some of my best friends to marry our partners…. I didn’t feel it.
I know. I know. I feel like such a terrible American! How could I, noisy obnoxiously gay lady that I am, not be celebrating with glitter, rainbows, and unicorns like the rest of the population that is okay with gay marriage?
It’s a combination of things. First, it has brought out some of the worst in people. Some people that were very vehemently opposed to gay marriage have gotten even worse. North Carolina passed its stupid Amendment One, which bans everything except marriage between a man and a woman. What’s tragic and stupid about this, in my mind, is that gay marriage was already illegal in North Carolina. This just added that into the constitution of the state, while also dumping on straight couples who wouldn’t really go for a traditional marriage.
By making this announcement prior to the November election, the President has potentially pushed away voters that like progressive things but not gay marriage. I’m just really, really nervous about this. I think that it’s all going to be okay, given that the other presidential candidate is big jerk bully Mitt Romney. Speaking of which, have you read about some of the crap this guy has done? Seriously, what a d-bag.
Perhaps what is worst about this is people like this pastor. I know he’s probably voicing a minority opinion here, and I know that he’s only got like three people agreeing with him on that video… But it hurts. I don’t like the vaguest notion of locking up any group of people, let alone a group of people to which I belong. It makes my skin crawl and my stomach cramp to know that there’s a a guy like this saying things like that, and to know that there are some humans who will actually listen. Pro tip: If you want to not be considered an asshole, don’t suggest rounding up and jailing all the “queers”.
None of this, though instills in me the need to fight, to push, I don’t have this feeling like I am actually supported or that marriage equality is actually supported by my President. They’re just words. I do not mean to belittle what is a large step forward – that would be naive and unfair. I don’t think this is a moment to celebrate. Instead of cracking some champagne and enjoying this moment – undoubtedly a big moment, at that – I find myself becoming more the angry lesbian caricature. I guess it’s in part because I felt shortchanged after the 2008 election and the Prop 8 insanity
that happened is happening in California, but also in part because there were some people who straight-up (no pun intended) told me that I should be glad this first step was taken. There were a few comments that had the, “Isn’t this good enough for you” tone, and I resent that. It did nothing to make me agree and be happy. It felt condescending and super straight-privilege-y. Needless to say, I’m not a fan.
If I could give you one bit of advice, in all this ranting I’ve done, it’s this: don’t tell people that this is good enough. Don’t tell people that they can stop asking for it because a man in an office said some pretty words. Instead, look for a local chapter of PFLAG or GLSEN, make an It Gets Better video, just don’t make empty promises.
Something less depressing will probably be in the next post.
Posted: 04/13/2012 Filed under: Behavior, Dating, Girls, Sex | Tags: advice, behavior, boys, dating, facebook, girl talk, girls, humor, kinks and fetishes, links, love, sex
Hey y’all! No attractive ladies this time, unless you count ME. But for serious, this is gonna be a pretty intense post so STRAP ON YOUR SEATBELTS!
Someone I have been chatting with online has recently completely exemplified Nice Guy Syndrome. What’s Nice Guy Syndrome, you ask? It’s the affliction many young men seem to have, where apart from being a totally nice guy, the dude in question might be using nice guy tactics to gain something FROM whoever is the target of his niceness.
There are whole websites devoted to discussing the ins and outs of Nice Guy Syndrome, and this one in particular has a great definition all laid out…
The technical definition of the nice guy syndrome, simply states that this is a set of behaviors and characteristics that certain guys possess and perform. These include things such as: going out of your way to please people; overly focusing on giving other people what they want; offering unreciprocated favors and gifts; as well as avoiding confrontations and disagreement at all cost.
Now here’s the tricky part about Nice Guy Syndrome… If you’re using any of these tactics to move yourself out of The Friend Zone and into someone’s pants, you’re being a problem. It’s not cool. Stop it.
Back to my acquaintance – when discussing people in a position of authority, he declared all of the women to be horrible, harridan-like bitches, but most of the guys were more than fine. He also fails to understand why essentially being a doormat doesn’t land him knee-deep in ladybits. These two things are connected and I’m going to come back to this.
In checking out NGS on the internets, I discovered there’s an ENTIRE wiki for geeky feminism! SO COOL! But the best part is that they have a fabulous set of reasons why this is problematic for all involved parties.
The biggest issue is that Nice Guys see themselves as a gift to womankind, and get really resentful when women don’t view them similarly. For instance, a guy stuck in the Friend Zone with a particular lady will end up resenting her for rejecting him, and she’ll have no idea why. This won’t end well for anyone involved, and that’s crazy and sad. What you have to remember, everyone, is that just because you aren’t boinking a friend doesn’t make the relationship with that person a complete failure, or any less special. In fact, I really enjoy having friends without the awkward added pressure of sexytimes interfering. Maybe that’s just me, but I really just like having good buddies I haven’t seen naked.
Here’s another important thing to remember: rejection happens to EVERYONE. Literally. At one point or another, people get turned down for a number of things, be it sex, a date, an audition, an application for a job, an apartment, or even if a stray cat won’t come near them. This shit happens, and instead of blaming everything else, pick yourself up and move on.
Now, what do these things have to do with my Nice Guy acquaintance? Here’s the thing: his resentment of some (or a couple) girls who have rejected his romantic advances has bled over and tainted his view of all womankind. This is especially true for the women who have some sort of authority over him, which explains why he hates all his female bosses. Long story short, he hates them because they’re extensions of people who won’t have sex with him. With me so far? Good.
Here comes the really REALLY important part. What do you do if you think you might have some issues with Nice Guy Syndrome?
First, take a look at why you feel the way you feel about people around you. Do you think, if you have friends you want to date, that whoever they’re dating is a douchebag? Why? Because they’re succeeding where you think you’re failing.
You might actually be a really, really nice dude, and that’s totally fine. Actually, that’s more than fine – usually when you’re nice, people think you’re a good person. Here’s the thing, though. Other people are nice, too. Other people are good people who feed strays and pick up litter and listen to female friends’ problems they’re having. And you know what, they don’t get a medal for that, and they don’t feel they need one. It’s a good feeling to be a good person, and usually that’s reward enough.
Step back, take a look at why you’re being good. I guarantee you’ll feel a lot better about your life (and maybe even end up knee-deep in ladybits) if you start being a nice guy for the right reasons.
Posted: 04/03/2012 Filed under: Awesome Things, Girls | Tags: appearance, attractive ladies, girls, humor, links
Hi! So last week I went all politi-rant on you, which was probably not so fun for some of you to read. So this time I’m going to post some pictures of rad heroines from modern movies that are also badass attractive ladies. It’s gonna be great.
This is also a bit influenced by me having seen The Hunger Games recently, and I’m probably totally crushed out on Jennifer Lawrence. Can you blame me?
Well, because duh. Buffy is probably the first most badass live-action girl to appear on TV. Even if she’s not, I don’t even care. I love that she kicks ass and makes quips about her fashion and stuff, and that she cares so much for her friends. Also, crossbow-prom dress combo. Duh.
Lady Lara Croft. Aside from pondering the chafing of her gunbelt with those hotpants she always wears, what a BAMF! She’s got the money, the accent, the survival skills, and perhaps most importantly, the brains to find just about anything and solve any puzzle. Not to mention the tight shirt. Don’t judge me.
Any lady who can bring down a ridiculous amount of zombies and manage to move quickly in that leather bodice gets my vote. Also, is it just me or does Milla Jovovich look a lot like Amanda Palmer? I digress. Guns. Blades. Jumping from things. Blowing shit up. Alice is basically what I want to be if zombies ever DO show up.
This girl, you might notice, is not a gun-toting, leather-clad badass ass-kicker (say that 5 times fast?) BUT she is the single smartest person on this list. There’s really nothing Hermione can’t research, and how many times has she saved Harry and Ron’s skins by her brilliance?
I would be seriously stupid to not include the Warrior Princess herself! Between the ring-throwing, the sword-fighting, the punching, and the general ass-kicking, Xena is like the OG of female badassery. Not to mention her totally bitchin’ armor, amirite?
First things first. She’s a succubus. Second, she isn’t concerned with the gender of her partners. She also wears an absurd amount of leather and is pretty much a good person. AND she kicks the crap out of a lot of people and monsters.
What’s really cool about Lisbeth Salander is how human she is. I’m not even going to say “normal”, because she’s anything but normal. She is, however, a badass in her own way. I would really recommend reading through Stieg Larsson’s books, because she’s actually a really inspiring character. Her creativity and resilience are what make her so badass. Also, take your pick between Rooney Mara’s characterization and Noomi Rapace’s, either way you won’t be disappointed.
Tank Girl gets included for the weirdness factor alone! She lives in a tank in a post-apocalyptic world and is originally a comic book character, so mad points there. She also is (according to the Wikipedia article) She is prone to random acts of sex and violence,hair dyeing, flatulence, nose-picking, vomiting, spitting, and more than occasional drunkenness.” That sort of sounds like my girlfriend. Don’t tell her I said that.
Fun fact for the day: Sigourney Weaver’s iconic role as Ripley was originally written for a dude, but somehow Ms. Weaver snagged the part and is forever part of scifi culture. And hot DAMN, are we all grateful! She’s arguably the strongest, most hardcore character out of any women on this list (sorry Xena), not to mention she’s got some pretty nasty enemies (and I’m not just talking about the aliens). Managing to kick this much ass AND fight through sexism? AWESOME.
If you know anything about the Metroid games, you probably know about Samus. And, you probably know that it was a big deal to go through the whole game lasering your way through clouds of metroids and other nasties (space pirates and those creepy bosses), only to have a big reveal that – SURPRISE! – you were playing as a girl the whole time! She’s got the suit*, she’s got the moves, Samus is a class-A badass woman.
Last but definitely not the least, I picked Katniss Everdeen. Say what you want about the Hunger Games and the movie or the books or whatever. Don’t tell me you don’t love a woman with a bow. I do, or else I wouldn’t have her on here. There’s something about ladies with amazing skills, and survival skills happen to be pretty damn useful. She sleeps in trees, has ridiculous accuracy with a recurve, and manages to fuel a revolution. She’s taken care of her family and helps people when she can. I’m maybe in love with her, don’t judge me.
All of these women have some amazing almost superhuman qualities. Have I missed any of your favorites? Let me know!
*If anyone can tell me who this particular cosplayer is, I would be much obliged to you. ETA: Thank you A TON to litlghost for sourcing that rad Samus cosplay!
Posted: 03/06/2012 Filed under: Behavior, Girl Talk, LGBTQ | Tags: advice, behavior, boys, dating, girl talk, humor, links, rants
So hey, I recently discovered some websites that give me a lot of feelings. Some of these feelings are akin to, “OKAY REALLY PEOPLE, REALLY?!”, while others are closer to inarticulate rage that makes me want to throw heavy and sharp objects at the person who said the thing.
What, might you ask, gives me these kind of feelings?
I’m Not Racist But…
I’m Not Sexist But…
I’m Not Homophobic But…
There are some really ridiculous human beings out there, folks. And what’s really funny is that these websites are full of people who can’t seem to grow up and come face-to-face with their own prejudices and feelings that are racist, that are homophobic, and that are sexist.
There are a lot of other statements that get made in everyday use that don’t have this prejudicial slant to them. You’ve all heard them, you probably hear them on a regular basis and now you won’t ever un-hear them. Have you ever heard anyone start a sentence with, “Now don’t take this the wrong way, but…”?
I hear that ALL THE TIME. And you know what’s funny? The person who leads off that way almost always says something really horrible. In fact, I’m usually left wondering whether there is a right way to take some comments that start with “Don’t take this the wrong way, but”. Seriously, all it’s doing is excusing your rude behavior! This is a good way to sound like a major a-hole.
The other phrase I hear is, “No offense, but…” which is, like the above phrase, a precursor to something really offensive. Saying this phrase before something is kind of ridiculous. It’s not a safety blanket that absolves you of whatever douchey thing you’re about to say.
My last, extremely least-favorite phrase of all time is, “I’m sorry, but…” You’re not sorry. You’re not even remotely sorry. Don’t even.
I’m not a stranger to these sort of feelings. I’m in no way excusing racist, sexist, homophobic, ableist, ageist, or whatever-ist thoughts. Part of the reason I liked reading the websites I linked to above is that, in some instances I see thoughts that I have had. I’m not proud of that by any means, it just goes to show that even though I’m wonderful, I’m certainly not perfect. The difference is that I have worked pretty hard to not make excuse statements before I say something or have a thought.
My advice in this instance is to stop it right now. Just stop it. Stop qualifying your statements to make yourself feel better. If you weren’t a bit racist/sexist/homophobic in some way, those thoughts and feelings would not be around. The trick is to grow up and confront those feelings. The best plan of attack I can give you is to stop and think about what you’re thinking. If you would a) never say it out loud or b) never think it without the disclaimer at the beginning, then it’s a problem.
I have a lot of feelings about these things, obviously. Just please try not to be a douchebag.