Fantastic Queer Superheroines!

I know you were all waiting for this.  This is probably the nerdiest thing I’ve ever written, except for that time I wrote some fan fiction for Gundam Wing.

I know.

And even if you weren’t, that’s okay.  Whoever follows me on tumblr (ahem ahem shameless plug) will have noticed a pick-up in the superheroine-type things I’ve been reblogging.  It happens.  It started with me wanting to learn more everything about Wonder Woman and went on from there, so without too much ado, I present in no particular order, some really amazing super- and meta-human ladies!

Holly Robinson

I can’t be the only one who sees it

Did you guys know Catwoman had a sort-of sidekick?  Who was gay?  Because I didn’t until I started looking into these things.  Holly manages to stab Batman in the leg and then end up at a convent.  At some point she comes back, takes over being Catwoman while Selina is on maternity leave, dies, but not really, and she’s Selina Kyle‘s BFF/roommate/probably girlfriend sometimes.  At least, that’s what happened In My Head.

Sailor Neptune/Sailor Uranus

Image by AmayaKouryuu at deviantart

I have to include these ladies as a pair, because they’re a couple.  I don’t really care what the English dub of “Sailor Moon” that you watched on Toonami said, they’re not cousins.  Cousins don’t have pot points like Sailor Uranus (Haruka) kissing Sailor Moon, or dressing up as Tuxedo Mask, or, y’know, sexin’ up Sailor Neptune (Michiru).  I really love the two of them, because Haruka is super flirty and Michiru is quieter and super-polite.  They balance each other out so well and I can’t help it, they’re so effin’ cute.  Seriously, I’m still not sure how I was so naive to think lady cousins should be so friendly.  I know better now, and so do you.

Renee Montoya

Look at that striped shirt and blazer. Hot!

So Renee Montoya is was a cop, which is pretty sexy and superhumanly in and of itself.  HOWEVER, she’s also The Question!  AND Batwoman‘s girlfriend, for a hot minute!  Can I sum it up decently by saying she’s a fabulous representation of a person of color (her parents are immigrants from the Dominican Republic)?  No.  I can’t really sum her up neatly, she’s more complex than that.  This lady has some srs bznss in her background and I would need more coffee and at least three blog posts to cover it.  She dated Batwoman, has alcohol issues, and kicks the crap out of people.  And she wears a tie while doing a lot of these things.  Unf.

See? Ties.

Knockout

I think I’m in love

Holy CRAP, this woman.  Those biceps.  Wikipedia says “Her hidden identity was that of a super strong stripper who worked at a club called the BoomBoom Room”.  Does this explain what I’m about to say?  Maybe.  Knockout is really more of a villain than superheroine, but this is my list so hush.  She’s been on the Suicide Squad and the Secret Six, and has died or almost died a couple of times.  No, really.  It’s canon.  I like Knockout because 1, her name is a great pun and 2, she’s like eight feet tall and 3, she was dating the next lady on this list…

Scandal

Also: tattoos

Scandal scares me a little bit.  Maybe it’s that crazy combat mastery, or her really freaky weapons (seriously, “lamentation blades”?), but it’s probably more that she can re-grow her guts.  Her dad’s immortal, so what do you expect?  But I do love a lady who’s tough, and she’s fought freaking Talia al Ghul (a sometimes-Batman girlfriend) and lived through being shot and almost blown up and such.  I think she’s a big softie, judging from her reaction to her girlfriend Knockout’s death, so… I like her.  Is it weird that I find the tough girls attractive?

Batwoman

Kate kissing Not Renee (Detective Maggie Sawyer)

I couldn’t notput her on this list.  Kate Kane‘s Batwoman is easily the most recognizable of the women I picked, not to mention the most gay.  She gets booted from a military academy for dating another (female) student, and gets it on with attractive lesbian cops a lot.  Mostly I love how complicated she is, she’s not just the token gay title character.  Seriously, I can’t tell you how big a deal that is.  Also she’s a redhead with tattoos, and that’s never a bad thing.  If you’re not interested in the storylines of the most recent Batwoman issues, just go for the art.

Look at this, it’s beautiful, now go get it!

I’m pretty sure I’m missing a good deal of lesbionic butt-kickers, because not every superheroine who doesn’t necessarily need a dude to save her or partner up with is queer, so drop me a line on Twitter, or tumblr, or down in the comments and talk to me about your favorite queer superheroines!


Badass Fictional Women, Part 1

Hi!  So last week I went all politi-rant on you, which was probably not so fun for some of you to read.  So this time I’m going to post some pictures of rad heroines from modern movies that are also badass attractive ladies.  It’s gonna be great.

This is also a bit influenced by me having seen The Hunger Games recently, and I’m probably totally crushed out on Jennifer Lawrence.  Can you blame me?

Buffy Summers

Well, because duh.  Buffy is probably the first most badass live-action girl to appear on TV.  Even if she’s not, I don’t even care.  I love that she kicks ass and makes quips about her fashion and stuff, and that she cares so much for her friends.  Also, crossbow-prom dress combo.  Duh.

Lara Croft

Lady Lara Croft.  Aside from pondering the chafing of her gunbelt with those hotpants she always wears, what a BAMF!  She’s got the money, the accent, the survival skills, and perhaps most importantly, the brains to find just about anything and solve any puzzle.  Not to mention the tight shirt.  Don’t judge me.

Alice

Any lady who can bring down a ridiculous amount of zombies and manage to move quickly in that leather bodice gets my vote.  Also, is it just me or does Milla Jovovich look a lot like Amanda Palmer?  I digress.  Guns.  Blades.  Jumping from things.  Blowing shit up.  Alice is basically what I want to be if zombies ever DO show up.

Hermione Granger

This girl, you might notice, is not a gun-toting, leather-clad badass ass-kicker (say that 5 times fast?) BUT she is the single smartest person on this list.  There’s really nothing Hermione can’t research, and how many times has she saved Harry and Ron’s skins by her brilliance?

Xena

I would be seriously stupid to not include the Warrior Princess herself!  Between the ring-throwing, the sword-fighting, the punching, and the general ass-kicking, Xena is like the OG of female badassery.  Not to mention her totally bitchin’ armor, amirite?

Bo Dennis

First things first.  She’s a succubus.  Second, she isn’t concerned with the gender of her partners.  She also wears an absurd amount of leather and is pretty much a good person.  AND she kicks the crap out of a lot of people and monsters.

Lisbeth Salander

What’s really cool about Lisbeth Salander is how human she is.  I’m not even going to say “normal”, because she’s anything but normal.  She is, however, a badass in her own way.  I would really recommend reading through Stieg Larsson’s books, because she’s actually a really inspiring character.  Her creativity and resilience are what make her so badass.  Also, take your pick between Rooney Mara’s characterization and Noomi Rapace’s, either way you won’t be disappointed.

Tank Girl

Tank Girl gets included for the weirdness factor alone!  She lives in a tank in a post-apocalyptic world and is originally a comic book character, so mad points there.  She also is (according to the Wikipedia article) She is prone to random acts of sex and violence,hair dyeingflatulencenose-pickingvomitingspitting, and more than occasional drunkenness.”  That sort of sounds like my girlfriend.  Don’t tell her I said that.

Ellen Ripley

Fun fact for the day: Sigourney Weaver’s iconic role as Ripley was originally written for a dude, but somehow Ms. Weaver snagged the part and is forever part of scifi culture.  And hot DAMN, are we all grateful!  She’s arguably the strongest, most hardcore character out of any women on this list (sorry Xena), not to mention she’s got some pretty nasty enemies (and I’m not just talking about the aliens).  Managing to kick this much ass AND fight through sexism?  AWESOME.

Samus Aran

If you know anything about the Metroid games, you probably know about Samus.  And, you probably know that it was a big deal to go through the whole game lasering your way through clouds of metroids and other nasties (space pirates and those creepy bosses), only to have a big reveal that – SURPRISE! – you were playing as a girl the whole time!  She’s got the suit*, she’s got the moves, Samus is a class-A badass woman.

Katniss Everdeen

Last but definitely not the least, I picked Katniss Everdeen.  Say what you want about the Hunger Games and the movie or the books or whatever.  Don’t tell me you don’t love a woman with a bow.  I do, or else I wouldn’t have her on here.  There’s something about ladies with amazing skills, and survival skills happen to be pretty damn useful.  She sleeps in trees, has ridiculous accuracy with a recurve, and manages to fuel a revolution.  She’s taken care of her family and helps people when she can.  I’m maybe in love with her, don’t judge me.

All of these women have some amazing almost superhuman qualities.  Have I missed any of your favorites?  Let me know!

*If anyone can tell me who this particular cosplayer is, I would be much obliged to you. ETA: Thank you A TON to litlghost for sourcing that rad Samus cosplay!


One of Those Days…

IN A GOOD WAY!

Really, it’s beautiful out.  I fully intend to write a post about some of my new favorite television-y things, including some rad commentary on gay visibility in the media.

I also am going to talk about some silly laws and some sad stuff that happened in the news recently.  10 points and a high-five if you can guess what these are!

Now, though, I’m going on a dog-walking, apartment-hunting adventure, and you’ll just have to wait!  If you don’t have beautiful weather, I feel bad for you.

Also, pro tip, walking a dog around a nice neighborhood on a beautiful day is actually a GREAT date idea.  And the greatest part is that it doesn’t matter if you’ve been dating a long time or not, because dogs are partner-magnets (unless it’s a Chinese crested, then you’re probably SOL there…) and who doesn’t enjoy being in the sun?

it looks like a tiny, ugly horse.  or a warg.

Seriously.

 

I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t go on a dog-walking date if you have an ugly dog.  But, DO go on dog-walking dates, because everyone wins!  There’s the cute factor with the dog, the nice factor with the weather, it’s a great way to get a little exercise in, and you can talk about pretty much anything!  Some of my greatest conversations with my ladyfriend have been while walking our respective dogs.  It’s my professional opinion that you should walk dogs with significant others.

In other news, it’s Pi Day!  What’s Pi Day?  Well, it’s March 14th, or 3-14, which are the first couple of digits of Pi, a really long irrational number that is involved with geometry and such.

because math is delicious!

I didn't make this, but I should have.

Go eat some pie after walking your dog with your significant other (or a friend even), because pie is delicious and really, there are SO MANY KINDS of pie!  There’s pumpkin and blueberry and sweet potato and apple and French silk and pretty much whatever you can think of!

Regularly-unscheduled postings will happen at some other point.  I’m going outside!

 


How to: Survive Valentine’s Day When Single

So… Tomorrow.  Oh, boy.

Tomorrow’s one of those days people have a LOT of feelings about.  It’s Valentine’s Day.  For me, I like the day because it has personal significance!  This was the first weekend my ladyfriend (the same one with whom I celebrated our 3rd anniversary not too long ago) came to visit me by herself and spent the weekend in my dorm room (MINDS.  OUT.  OF.  GUTTER.)

But for a lot of people, particularly single people, this is a day filled with sadness, resentment, wearing black and binging on chocolate and/or alcohol.

Just because I haven’t spent V-Day single in awhile doesn’t mean I don’t have some GREAT ideas for you non-romantically-connected folks!  Here we go!

First and foremost, treat yourself to something awesome.  Go to the movie none of your friends want to see, put your favorite record on and dance like a whacko, buy yourself some fancy chocolate or nice booze or even a new pair of pants!  When I am in need of cheering up and I have some space alone, I pull out my inner Sasha Fierce.

Oh yeah.  You know what this means.

If doing things solo that way makes you feel bad, you can always count on FMyLife to have the best and worst of humanity’s suffering.  It may not be a good day for you, but on that website, someone’s always got it worse.  If you don’t think so, you can always submit your own tale of woe, right?

Have a video game marathon if you’re one of those stereotypical single dudes (or ladies)!  Nobody’s around to tell you to stop playing and pay attention or do whatever, so go for it!  If you have an important thing to do, try not to forget it, but really, what’s the harm in killing some zombies or driving a car that you stole (IN A GAME)?

These next two could be combined, but your mileage may vary!

Have a movie marathon.  Invite your friends over and watch all of the Lord of the Rings movies!  Or all of the Star Wars movies.  Or Star Trek, or superhero movies, or Animal House, or something with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in it.  If you purchased nice alcohol and/or chocolates earlier, share them with your best buddies – it’ll only get great from there.

If you really want to have a good time, have a romantic comedy movie marathon, but make it into a drinking/chocolate eating game.  You might end up sick afterward, but hey – how else does one get through formulaic and stupidly heterosexual idyllic cliche garbage flicks involving Channing Tatum or Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan/every actor who needed a paycheck?  There are a couple guides on teh interwebz, but you can always make up your own rules, too!

Okay, now it is time for me to be serious with you.  Do not, under pretty much any circumstances other than “you need a ride to the hospital and nobody else is answering”, and I mean this: DO NOT CALL YOUR EX.  It won’t end well, it will be extra super weird because it’s Valentine’s Day and just don’t do it!  Remember that you broke up for some reasons.  I don’t mean that from a place of bitterness or resentment, but there were reasons and you should continue to remember those.

Also important: DO NOT DRINK ALONE.

drinking will not help your "forever alone" status or feelings

Seriously, drinking alone is not good.  Even if you’re chatting online, it does not count.  My rule is you have to be physically in the same space with another living, breathing human being in order to have safe drinking times.

Eating chocolate alone, however, is totally more than acceptable.

GO.  BE VALENTINE-Y!


How to: Survive A Fancy Restaurant

Hello and welcome back to me, I’ve been off doing silly things like studying for classes and celebrating my 3-year anniversary with my wonderful girlfriend!

To mark this amazing occasion, the lady took me out to a fancy-pants restaurant (or at least a lot fancier than places we usually eat, like McDonald’s…) The waitstaff was wearing nice pressed white shirts, white aprons, and very fancy dark blue jeans, so it wasn’t necessarily a black-tie place, but we dressed up nonetheless, ate some fancy food, drank some fancy wine, and had a great time!

Over the course of the evening, from the preparation to the restaurant events, got me thinking: Valentine’s day is coming up, and probably some folks are gonna go to a fancy restaurant.  Through my extensive field research and my own mistakes, I have created a how-to survival guide for just such an occasion!  LUCKY YOU.

First of all, pick the restaurant well before you go.  Most places have websites now, and sometimes you can even check out the menu before you get there.  DO THIS.  Reading up on the place and practicing pronouncing dishes (plus maybe looking at what’s IN dishes like that on Google or something), is a really great tactic.  This way you look smooth, smart, and above all, prepared.  And don’t forget to make a reservation.  Show up on time.  It’s kind of rude to go to a place and expect them to have held your table for you, especially when Valentine’s Day is probably the busiest restaurant day ever.

Second, dress up!  For god’s sake, isn’t it fun to put on nice clean clothes, make sure you’re all gussied up and lookin’ hot?  It’s different from going to a club where you’re trying to attract attention, and different from like a funeral or wedding where you HAVE to dress up.  This is where you can let these two styles collide – the dressy bit and the flair!  Don’t you dare wear a novelty tie, though, those things are not funny and I have no idea why they still make them.  You can ask what sort of outfit your date will be wearing, and try to dress so you don’t clash horribly (but you don’t have to match – that’s way too “high school prom”)

Next we get to the behavioral aspects of your night out!  I realize this is going to sound very old-fashioned, but wait for your lady to sit down, pull her chair out, push it in for her.  Be genuine and polite.  I hope you still genuinely enjoy her company!  My girlfriend did this for me and it was surprising and adorable at the same time.  It’s not about “putting a woman in her place” in this instance; it’s about showing you still really care about her.

When you’re ordering anything at a restaurant, do NOT, under any circumstances, give a waiter a “thumbs-up” or an “okay” sign.  I did this and I still feel stupid about it!  To be fair, I had a mouthful of appetizer when he presented the bottle of wine for tasting, and I nodded while chewing and gave the “okay” sign – I’m feeling a right idiot more than a week later, how do you think you will feel after Valentine’s Day?  Since my hindsight is 20/20, I should have nodded, put up a finger in the “one moment please” gesture, and finished my mouthful.  Bam, survival tip you can use over and over again!

Don’t rest your elbows on the table.  If you have to rest your hands somewhere, put one hand on a lap, and have your other forearm resting on the edge of the table.  Sit up relatively straight, so your nice clothes don’t get all messed up.  You’ll look better and more attentive to your sweetheart anyway.  Also, remember that you’re wearing really nice pants that you don’t want to drop food/wipe food on!  They give you big napkins at most restaurants, so shake ’em out and set them on your lap.  Cover those slacks, chaps, it’s okay to protect ’em!  Just don’t forget it’s on your lap when you stand up to leave – that will also be kind of embarrassing.

I hope you all have a great way of celebrating Valentine’s Day!  And who knows, later in the week there might be a “how to survive Valentine’s Day” guide for you single folks!  Thanks for reading!


How to: Survive Victoria’s Secret

The vast majority of women in America wear underthings.  Of that majority, a lot of them seem to like having really nice underthings.  You know, there’s just something super-swell that makes me feel great when I wear nice underthings.

Enough about my underpants.  Women sometimes go to places like Victoria’s Secret and are bombarded with 8,000 kinds of bras, and about 7 options for underwear styles.  It’s gonna take them some time to get through all this stuff, even if they thought they knew what they wanted before you even left the house.

I went on one such excursion not too terribly long ago, and I wasn’t flying solo.  Yes, my ladyfriend needed new undergarments, and of course I would never pass up the opportunity to see her picking out attractive yet comfortable and functional underthings!  However, this meant that I was the awkward person near the fitting rooms waiting for her to be done.  It’s weird when you’re a girl, because the store employees are super nice and they keep asking, “do you need help with anything?”  I wish I could say, “Nope, just waiting to see how great my ladyfriend’s rack looks when she comes out of that little room!”

But it gave me a new perspective on what guys must go through being the waiter-onner for someone trying stuff on.  More likely than not, most gentleman-friends aren’t interested in the wares of Victoria’s Secret (unless you’re helping pick things out), so you can’t even claim the pretext of “I’m just browsing” without probably feeling a little weird.  That’s gotta be rough!  So how do you do it?

The best trick I have learned in my not so long life is that it’s very important to always look like you know what you’re doing.  It’s part body language – stand up straight, be alert, and walk with confidence, my friend! – and part not looking like an overwhelmed lost puppy.  This means don’t hang out like a creeper by the fitting rooms.  It’s okay to wander around the store and look at other things.  Your ladyfriend can help you by letting you know what size she wears, so if you wanted you could pick things out for her to try on.  Everybody wins that way!

The other really important thing to remember is that it’s okay to touch the merchandise.  I’m not saying you can necessarily go fondle the cups on all the bras (and definitely don’t fondle any of the employees, that’s just a bad idea all the time), but you can pick things up and take a look at them.  Go one.  I know you have probably wondered what the difference between a regular bra and a push-up bra was.  Take a look!  You might be a little bummed out to find that thongs look uncomfortable just sitting on a table (and maybe you can draw the conclusion that although they’re pretty, they’re probably really uncomfortable in real life on a body too!)  But go ahead, look around and check out all the patterned underoos they have everywhere.

One other great distraction that Victoria’s Secret in particular has is a HUGE wall of lotions and smelly things.  Go smell them.  Yes, I’m totally serious.  If you haven’t, you’re missing out.  Find something delicious and ask your ladyfriend if she wants to smell like that sometimes, because she’ll probably be really glad you’re taking an interest in this store, and in how she smells!

Last but not least, if for some reason your lady won’t tell you her size and you feel super awkward, you can always reserve the right to agree to meet somewhere else after a given amount of time, possibly at another store.  That’s part of the wonder of cell phones and watches – instantaneous contact means you don’t really lose people in malls.  I would vote this as a last-ditch effort, though, because I think it’s important to get out and do stuff with your significant other.  And that’s what I think is really Victoria’s Secret.


Awesome Out Actresses

Jane Lynch

Your favorite scary cheerleading coach is out, and I do believe she just got married awhile ago.  I love her.  She’s nothing but funny and she’s been in EVERYTHING – a ton of rad mockumentaries, The L Word (where she was awesome and got to rock lots of power suits), and of course, Glee.  She hosts award shows and is totally badass.  Seriously.

Kirsten Vangsness

Man, I love watching crime shows.  I especially love Criminal Minds, because they have HER!  Kirsten Vangsness is a really funny lady, plus she plays an awesome computer whiz/hacker type.  Her outfits make me smile and, if you google her, she dresses as flamboyantly in real life too!  AMAZING.  And there’s also this:

You can’t tell me that’s not awesome.  I mean, redhead, activist, attractive, glasses… COME ON.

Sara Gilbert

Yes, Darlene is gay.  And she is also dating Linda Perry which is pretty rad.  And she’s a pretty awesome human.  SERIOUSLY.  Is anyone else really glad she doesn’t dress like she did on Roseanne anymore?  I know I am.

Clementine Ford

Oh, favorite bit character on The L Word, also Cybil Shepard’s daughter, also AWESOME.  And hot, let’s not forget hot.  Just look at that lady.  There’s no way you can say she’s not hot.  If you do we’ll fight.

Alexandra Hedison

Sexy photographer who dated Ellen DeGeneres at one time.  Do I really need to elaborate?

Heather Matarazzo

Oh look, it’s everyone’s favorite awkward girl/plucky sidekick!  Also she had a probably-totally-gratuitous death scene in the second Hostel film. I love how well she nails the “best friend” role, and I really want her to be MY best friend (apologies to my actual best friends)

Portia deRossi/DeGeneres

Okay, if this woman isn’t simultaneously the hottest AND luckiest woman ever, then I am clearly in the wrong line of existence.  I love her, and I love her wife.  This is the only instance in which I would support polygamist marriage.  And I think that’s an okay thing.

Jenny Shimizu

Talk about your favorite gender-bender, Jenny Shimizu is totally mine.  She looks damn fine in a tux, plus she possibly may have theoretically allegedly dated Angelina Jolie.  So really, she’s pretty great.  She also models and does some other great stuff.

Amber Heard (I HAVE TO INCLUDE HER AGAIN)

Slight obsession with her, GET OVER IT.  Apparently she’s also single, so I may have to start thinking of really good apologies to send my girlfriend.  And also start raising bail money for staying out of jail for stalking.  (Kidding!?)


9 Kickass Queer Musicians

Okay, so I know my Hot Queer Ladies post included some bisexual and lesbian singers/musicians, but this is a post exclusively devoted to some of my favorites.  Why?  Because I promised you awesome things and if this isn’t a post full of awesome, then I should really just quit now.

Oh, Vanessa Carlton.  Seriously all I can think right now is “She looks good in that corset”.

I can’t call Joan Jett “the grandmother” of anything because I’m pretty sure she’d kick my ass.  BUT I can say she will rock the crap out of anything she touches.  Oh, and she’s way hotter than I could probably ever hope to be.  Sad, but mmm, Joan Jett.

I’m relatively certain the only way I could find Lady Gaga hotter is if she learned how to wear pants.  I’m not complaining, I just think she’d look cute in some baggy cargos or whatever.

She can only do one thing, and that’s be Lady Sovereign… She’s good at it.  Check her stuff out, if it doesn’t get you moving and probably giggling, you’re not human and there is no hope for you.

I’m usually appropriately suspicious of people with two first names, but I forgive Holly Miranda because 1, she’s gorgeous, 2, she’s talented, and 3, she covers Jeff Buckley.  Any arguments?  No?  Good.

Leisha Hailey is at the top of my list of People I Want To Be.  Why?  She’s an actor, songwriter, singer, bassist, and she was TOTALLY in those Yoplait commercials back in the day AND my favorite character on “The L Word”.  That’s why.

I’ll be the first to admit this woman scares the SHIT out of me.  Otep Shamaya is one of the most metal women ever, and she has some awesome music.  Also, she’s kind of badass.  By which I mean “approaching-Joan-Jett-levels-of-badassery”.  Her music is hard to get into but perfect for an angry day.  Try it.

And now we have Melissa Ferrick, who is one of those musicians you’ve probably heard in interviews with other lady musicians.  Why?  Because she’s been around for quite some time and is totally freaking awesome, that’s why.  And she’s still doing it, which is the important thing.

I saved the best for last, and here’s why: when I was a baby dyke in Cleveland Ohio, I went out to a gay club one night and, true story, helped her tear down her gear.  I was too young and she was too busy and we were being pushed out of the way by drunk clubbers.  She gave me a free CD and autographed it, hugged me and disappeared.  I found out a few years ago that this woman, Katie Reider, had passed away from a horribly rare tumor-related condition.  But pictures like the one above, and the memories of her being really gracious and nice to an obnoxious lonely kid in a club in Ohio are how I’m choosing to remember her, and that’s just another reason why I think she’s one incredibly kickass queer artist.  RIP Katie.


14 Hot Queer Girls

Okay boys, I’m trying something a little different today.  Sometimes I just wanna look at hot girls, know what I mean?  Of course you do.  Well today I’m gonna give you some pretty ladies who are awesome, talented in some way or another, and really attractive.  And not on your team.  Why?  Because I can.  Why else?  Because I like to change people’s perceptions of gay and queer ladies sometimes, and now I can do that online!  Don’t worry, I’ll get you back with some ladies that top my “Should Be Gay” list.

ENOUGH TALK ALREADY!  Let’s get to some unreasonably amazing and attractive ladies!!!!!

Amber Heard

Okay, this girl is absolutely gorgeous.  Not to mention she’s like 25 and has been in some nifty movies like Zombieland and Drive Angry.  She’s got that classic 40s movie star look about her, and yes.  She’s dating a lady.  Also, she’s into muscle cars and guns, and has been interviewed on Top Gear… Marry me, Amber?

Chely Wright

This lady made big news by coming out publicly while being a big deal in the country music world.  I don’t know a lot about country, but I do know Ms Wright is hot and probably really talented too.

Sara Quin

One half of the music duo Tegan and Sara, I feel as though Sara is the more attractive twin.  Not to mention an AWESOME guitarist.  Go see them live, check out the awesome things they do to raise money for stuff (like sell their own instruments to make money for Tsunami victims)

Heather Peace

Seriously who wouldn't love this woman?

Oh lord, where do I start with her?  My girlfriend doesn’t like her because I am in love with Heather Peace.  Why?  She plays an awesomely butch cop on an awesomely gay show (Lip Service) and is a pretty decent musician.  Not to mention that sense of style, I mean… Really.

Ruby Rose

Okay.  Tattoos… Out-drinking Bam Margera… Dating ladies… Where do I sign up?  This little spitfire is a hot Australian and probably a future ex-girlfriend of mine.

Angelina Jolie

Do I need to say any more?

Well duh.  She drank blood, adopted orphans from like fifteen countries, played one of the biggest gay lady icons (dykon, if you will) EVER, of course she’s dated women.  She dated a female costar of a movie they play on Lifetime, Jenny Shimizu, and has said she’d have married her if not for whats his face (SCANDAL)

Brandi Carlile

Swoooooooon

I’m madly in love with this woman.  If you’ve never heard her music, shame on you.  Go see her live, buy her records.  I would part with at least one limb to meet her, and then I’d die happier than you could ever imagine.  I love Brandi Carlile.  Her music rocks, she’s super good-lookin’, and… Um… Yeah, nothing more constructive to say about this.

Anna Paquin

She also played Rogue... Rowr

Your favorite vampire food is WHAT?!  Yeah, she also dates chicks.  Or at least has dated chicks.  This makes her a-okay in my book/on my blog, not to mention she’s friggin HOT.

Cat Cora

How do I get her to make me breakfast?

Is there anything better than a gorgeous woman who can cook?  Yes.  A gorgeous GAY woman who can cook.  At least, for me.  She’s an Iron Chef for god’s sake, and she has 4 kids.  I can’t decide if I want her to adopt me or date me – either way I want her to cook for me.

Margaret Cho

I want to be her.

The extremely fabulous Margaret Cho is also, GASP, bisexual!  She’s been a big advocate for the queer community, not to mention she’s an attractive, witty, curvy, tattooed lady (now who does that sound like…?  Oh, me!)

Jackie Warner

Abs.

ABS!  I mean, seriously, she’s unreasonably hot AND fit… It’s rumored she dated Jillian Michaels back in the day (who would be on this list if I could photoshop out her face), and Ms Warner had a show about her gym and life called “Work Out” which involved her dealing with crazy girlfriends.  Now she’s got one called “Thintervention” and I just have to say, Jackie Warner you can put me through your boot camp ANYTIME.  Seriously.  Call me.

Missy Higgins

Okay, before I go any further, let’s just give a great big thank-you wave to the folks down under, because this Australian musician not only makes awesome music but she’s SO HOT.  Why are Australians so hot?  Are there any ugly people from there?  Anyway, Missy here is not so openly bisexual, but has some songs about being queerly inclined like this one.  She’s said in interviews she hopes people will focus on her music instead of her personal life.  I’m pretty sure I can do both.

Jessie J

The British version of Katy Perry is actually… BISEXUAL.  OH NOES.  I can’t say I love her music, but she’s cute and pretty open about herself, “I’ve never denied it. Whoopie doo guys, yes, I’ve dated girls and I’ve dated boys – get over it.”  And I gotta say, I like her style.

Kristanna Loken

 

Gentlemen,

Of course I saved her for last

our favorite killer robot, the T-X from Terminator 3, dates girls.  Painkiller Jane is into ladies.  Not exclusively, so you still have a shot, but she was also part of the TV series The L Word.  This could only be better if she was dating that lady from Chuck.

 

Alright guys, if on the off chance I didn’t make this list awesome enough, please let me know – I don’t think I missed anyone really noteworthy though.  And don’t worry, I’ll have another series starting up soon entitled “Girls I Wish Were Gay” because it’s a list at LEAST 3 times longer than this one.