V-Day 2012

Did you survive it?

I had an awesome day.  It was great!  The lady and I modified/concocted our own romantic comedy drinking game and finished a bottle of wine well before the movie was over.

We took a drink for the following:

– every time the male lead does something douchebaggy

– every time a female character says something disparaging about men

– every time there is an almost-kiss

– every time a minority sidekick is on screen (this is the token rule, where a main character has a buddy who is not straight, white, etc.)

With these rules in mind, you’re probably wondering what we watched.  Have you ever heard of The Accidental Husband?  I won’t blame you if you say “No”.  It was SO BAD.  Seriously, look at how it did on Rotten Tomatoes.

This was officially the worst movie I have seen to date, and I would like you to keep in mind that I usually really like awful movies.

Aside from the really tired “practical advice-giving woman ruins someone’s future plans and he gets revenge” plot, this was chock-full of idiotic stereotypes about how men act.  SERIOUSLY.  The main dude (Jeffrey Dean Morgan with a thick Brooklyn accent), apart from his douchey revenge plot (wherein his like, 10-year-old neighbor kid hacks into the New York Marriage Registry and changes his status to married to the radio announcer practical advice-giving woman), just wanted to marry some lady.  I felt kind of bad for him until he started acting douchey.

Then there was the other part, where radio announcer lady (Uma Thurman) wanted to marry Colin Firth (and really, who could blame her?)  Mad amounts of hijinks ensue and obviously there’s some weirdness and guess who ends up together?

This was officially the most boring, idiotic, and predictable movie.  I rarely watch movies that make me really glad I’m drunk, but this was certainly one of them.  It’s a reminder that we either need to get rid of romantic comedies as a genre, or that we need to make them a lot better and actually funny.  When the only fun part about a movie is the venerable Sam Shepard as Uma Thurman’s dad, you know you’re in trouble.

The important thing here, though, is that we had an awesome time!  I really enjoyed spending time getting silly with my girl, and you know what?  I know I’d enjoy doing that with some friends too.  If you’re still feeling bummed out about being single, call up your friends and make a drinking game.  There are A TON OF THEM.  Google that and get on it.

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