How to: Survive Valentine’s Day When Single

So… Tomorrow.  Oh, boy.

Tomorrow’s one of those days people have a LOT of feelings about.  It’s Valentine’s Day.  For me, I like the day because it has personal significance!  This was the first weekend my ladyfriend (the same one with whom I celebrated our 3rd anniversary not too long ago) came to visit me by herself and spent the weekend in my dorm room (MINDS.  OUT.  OF.  GUTTER.)

But for a lot of people, particularly single people, this is a day filled with sadness, resentment, wearing black and binging on chocolate and/or alcohol.

Just because I haven’t spent V-Day single in awhile doesn’t mean I don’t have some GREAT ideas for you non-romantically-connected folks!  Here we go!

First and foremost, treat yourself to something awesome.  Go to the movie none of your friends want to see, put your favorite record on and dance like a whacko, buy yourself some fancy chocolate or nice booze or even a new pair of pants!  When I am in need of cheering up and I have some space alone, I pull out my inner Sasha Fierce.

Oh yeah.  You know what this means.

If doing things solo that way makes you feel bad, you can always count on FMyLife to have the best and worst of humanity’s suffering.  It may not be a good day for you, but on that website, someone’s always got it worse.  If you don’t think so, you can always submit your own tale of woe, right?

Have a video game marathon if you’re one of those stereotypical single dudes (or ladies)!  Nobody’s around to tell you to stop playing and pay attention or do whatever, so go for it!  If you have an important thing to do, try not to forget it, but really, what’s the harm in killing some zombies or driving a car that you stole (IN A GAME)?

These next two could be combined, but your mileage may vary!

Have a movie marathon.  Invite your friends over and watch all of the Lord of the Rings movies!  Or all of the Star Wars movies.  Or Star Trek, or superhero movies, or Animal House, or something with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in it.  If you purchased nice alcohol and/or chocolates earlier, share them with your best buddies – it’ll only get great from there.

If you really want to have a good time, have a romantic comedy movie marathon, but make it into a drinking/chocolate eating game.  You might end up sick afterward, but hey – how else does one get through formulaic and stupidly heterosexual idyllic cliche garbage flicks involving Channing Tatum or Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan/every actor who needed a paycheck?  There are a couple guides on teh interwebz, but you can always make up your own rules, too!

Okay, now it is time for me to be serious with you.  Do not, under pretty much any circumstances other than “you need a ride to the hospital and nobody else is answering”, and I mean this: DO NOT CALL YOUR EX.  It won’t end well, it will be extra super weird because it’s Valentine’s Day and just don’t do it!  Remember that you broke up for some reasons.  I don’t mean that from a place of bitterness or resentment, but there were reasons and you should continue to remember those.

Also important: DO NOT DRINK ALONE.

drinking will not help your "forever alone" status or feelings

Seriously, drinking alone is not good.  Even if you’re chatting online, it does not count.  My rule is you have to be physically in the same space with another living, breathing human being in order to have safe drinking times.

Eating chocolate alone, however, is totally more than acceptable.

GO.  BE VALENTINE-Y!

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