I was bumbling around for a bit trying to think up a topic for a post. Sometimes I get lucky and I come up with a brilliant idea on my own, and other times I get squished a little bit under that big brick called “writer’s block”. There are some other happy occasions, though, where a friend of mine makes a comment and it just sparks a great idea.
Josh, buddy, this one’s for you.
Josh is an awesome dude, he’s that smart, funny, creative sort a lot of people claim they want to be with, but he is also perennially single. Why? Because people have decided he’s not their “type”.
Do you ever look at girls and wonder if they’re your “type”? Do you have a type? What the hell does that even mean?
The way I understand it, having a type is like making an excuse to not spend time with someone. I heard that I wasn’t someone’s type because I’m not blonde, or I’m not especially slender, or I’m not girly enough and they only like dating “girly girls”. This blew my mind especially because, in the gay community, there ain’t a whole lot of us to go around anyway – why would you make it harder?
I think the same thing goes for the straight folks out there, too. I’ve got a lot of rad straight female friends, and a lot of rad straight male friends, but they all seem to have “types”, just like they all seem not to be someone else’s “type”.
This is really a lame excuse to let someone down, it’s a nice way of saying “I don’t think you’re ______ enough” or more generally “I don’t think you’re good enough for me”.
I’mma drop some knowledge on you, gents, so put on your hard hats. You aren’t exactly prime pickings, despite what other people might say to boost your ego in a contrary manner. Seriously, who the hell do you think you are that you’re some great friggin’ gift to womankind and you can pick whomever you want, so you exclude someone that doesn’t spend a ton of time on her appearance, or doesn’t do this or doesn’t have this one particular physical trait?
Seriously, once you boil it down, talking about someone not being your “type” just makes you sound like an asshole and a douchebag, and what is it I say about assholes and douchebags?
Do you know what it does to people who are awesome, single folks that just want to be loved? Do you know what happens when they hear, “Sorry, you’re just not my type” from somebody? It’s basically like kicking them in the groin, throwing sand in their eyes, and spitting on them after they fall. They put themselves on the line and someone thinks they’re so much better than they are. Everyone deserves a good reason, not just a recycled line.
If you’re not physically attracted to them, say that instead. It’s probably going to suck more in the short term, but you’ll do more damage in the long run by sending them the shit excuse of “type”.
It is absolutely, completely, totally 100% okay to not be interested in someone romantically, but to write them off with a crap line like “you’re not my type” shuts out the possibility of friendships, too. And with your luck, or hopefully a good sense of karma, whomever you reject will end up having a hot friend that wanted to date someone like you.
The moral of the story isn’t to let people down easy, or to do things the easy way, it’s to do things the RIGHT way, and as you should all know by now, the right way involves not being an ass. You’re smarter than that, and whichever brave girl is trying to ask you out deserves more respect.