How to Deal: HobbiesPosted: 08/11/2011
Hey dudes, I got a really good question from a friend and former coworker the other day. How do you go about introducing a new lady to your hobbies and interests? What’s really great is this can also translate to some of the more, erm, adult activities as well.
The best answer I can give to this question is “Go slow”. If you’re into baseball cards, if you’re into fishing or stamp collecting or model building or even taxidermy, don’t talk about it constantly, don’t DO it constantly (unless you’re a professional fisherman or taxidermist, I guess!) Relationships are hard, no doubt about that. They take a lot of work and compromise, and unfortunately a bit of sacrifice. For those of you gentlemen who haven’t managed to snag a lady that loves everything about you and your weird habits, this can cause some friction (bad friction, minds out of the gutters please).
My friend Q has a particularly interesting hobby. I don’t even know if calling it a “hobby” is the right term, but anyway, he spends a lot of his spare time preparing for the end of civilization as we know. One way or another he’s convinced modern civilization will end and we’ll all be thrown into a Mad Max-like post-apocalyptic world. He and a couple friends of his take secondhand sports equipment and whatever else they can scavenge (literally, scavenge) and make armor preparing for just such an occasion. I’ve been to these parties, it’s actually a pretty neat gig. But, neatness aside, I am guessing it’s hard to walk up to a lady he’s interested in and ask her what she’s doing for the end of the world.
So, if you’re reading this, Q, here’s some very personal advice for you. If she is into movies, which most people these days are, ask if she’s ever seen Mad Max or Waterworld (or both), propose a date night where there’s popcorn or mixed nuts or whatever. Cuddle up on the couch, and then pop these movies in. During the course of viewing, but maybe not when there’s essential action, mention casually that you love this stuff and make costumes – I would totally go the casual route, so as not to seem, you know, nuts. Since Q throws big shindigs at a local club every so often, mention that too, and invite her along. Establish this hobby as a not-totally-serious thing (like you don’t REALLY believe this is how things will turn out… Right?) If she seems willing to go along with it in a casual sense, then use your best judgment to see how much farther she’s willing to believe.
Okay, I teased you with this earlier and I should probably address it now before I get angry letters – what do you do about sexier subjects that might be a little off to most people? If you’ve got a kink and you want to date someone and be happy, you gotta tell someone. For instance, if you like being spanked, bring it up. The best approach is always honesty, and always be up-front if you’re ever asked. Obviously using your best judgment is key here, since doing this wrong could lead to some serious lack of sexytimes for you.
You know what? Now that I think about it, this should really be addressed more fully, probably in another post of its own. So that’s what I’m gonna do with that.
If you’ve got problems, which I’m sure you do, email me! firstname.lastname@example.org
Til next time, boys!